So, to start off I got a new phone with windows operating system instead of Android and the WordPress app for windows is a PITA and posting pics is a hassle so I’m going to have to work something out.
Aside from my app problems. I will tell you about the ahh ha moment I had yesterday. It was more of a “duhh” feeling and I don’t understand why I hadn’t realized this earlier. After all, this is not my first. Here we go. So I was reading another blog and it had a infants schedule from naps to feedings and that’s when I thought “wait a minute Mia doesn’t take nearly as many naps as she should”. After reading that I decided to try something new the next day. I started our day yesterday by being very vigilant to her cues. When she woke up after her last full breastfeeding through the night. She had her first supplemented feeding and after her feeding she was fussy and crying. Any other day I would think she was still hungry and try to feed her and she would refuse and I would check her diaper. I don’t know why it just wasn’t clicking. Except this time around I walked her around the apartment and comfort nursed her and she calmed down and fell asleep in no time. Once she had woken up from her nap she was refreshed and after a bit was ready to feed again. We continued this routine all day and at 7 o’clock she had her usual bath, fed and by 8 o’clock was asleep.
I can’t believe that I almost gave up on breastfeeding. I genuinely thought our problem was using the lact-aid. Apparently the only way she will nap is by being nursed to sleep.
We both love nursing and I’m glad I figured her out just in time.
Somedays I feel like I have completely failed my baby. As much as I’ve tried and struggled along the way to breastfeed. I have failed. I feel bipolar at times for feeling so happy that we have a breastfeeding relationship. Then my emotions come crashing down when I start struggling to get the Lact-aid tube positioned just right for her to get milk as she is screaming. Sometimes it works fine and other times we end up crying together.
I’m just not ready to let go of our breastfeeding relationship and even though its not enough I am giving her breast milk and that is good for her. I pray in hopes for some sort of miracle and everydkay I am hopeful and thankful that I can offer some.
My hubby is always very reassuring that I am not a failure when I cry about god giving us breast for our babies and mine don’t work but I cant overlook the fact that medically women who can not provide 100% of the milk needed by their babies are called lactation failures.
If I were to stop now I would be devastated. My baby nurses to sleep, for comfort, for naps, when we cuddle in bed. I just feel so overwhelmed and bad when I can’t get that tube right in her mouth or sometimes when I am rushing to get the Lact-aid ready for a feeding. Maybe using the Lact-aid would get easier and if I stop now I will never know. I have tons of thoughts running through my head
One of the most overwhelming is thinking one day I might have a full supply. Its positive thinking but foolish as well because if in 2 and a half months I haven’t had a full supply I don’t think it will happen. I should be more grateful I know but some days are just though.
No one ever tells you how hard breastfeeding could be.
On the Atlantic city peer with my goofy 5 year old Jayden & 9 week old Mia.
OK, so yesterday hubby, the kids and I went to the boardwalk while visiting the in-laws and it was very hot so I refused to cover up while feeding the little one. Besides she was looking around at everything that had never seen before. So, we go about our stroll down the boardwalk in search of somewhere yummy to eat. I received some encouraging looks and smiles, which felt very nice of course. I was using the Lact-aid and I manage to use it very discreetly. I did get a ignorant reaction from some teen boys which is to be expected but in a perfect world kids would grow up knowing what breast are really meant for. They were shocked and I understand. I am at least glad that was the strangest reaction I got. A lady even interacted with me and told me she is still bf-ing her 1 and a half year old and also did breast and formula which is always very encouraging to hear about moms who combined fed and make it long term.
I hadn’t looked up the bf-ing laws in Jersey before going out breastfeeding in public but I decided to go for it anyway. I figured most states are “Your baby could feed anywhere they are permitted to be”
So far I don’t mind breastfeeding in public. On the contrary, breastfeeding in public should be normalized one breast at a time.
Making it more visible for the picture
First I want to start off with, WOW this and the Medela sns are like night and day. I offer the Lact-aid hands down.
Anyway, here I am breastfeeding little Mia with the Lact-aid. I have been using it for 3 days today and so far I love it because it doesn’t leak, its not bulky or hard, has one tube, and best of all is discreet. Its been a bit tricky for me to latch her on with the tube in the right place because this one can really go on the side but I am getting the hang of it. Mia doesn’t seem to mind as long as she gets to nurse.
Laying down with Lact-aid tucked under my shirt and no tape
I have yet to try using it in public but I’m sure I will have plenty of time to try because this is a long weekend and next weekend we are going to New York.
I am looking forward to see if it increases my milk supply at all.
Lefty is an under achiever
Let me start of by saying to 2oz is the max I have ever pumped and usually only in morning. This is what I pumped today at 8:00am before our morning feed. Why pump before a feeding you may ask? Well I received my Lact-aid yesterday morning and wanted to put my BM into the Lact-aid and further stimulate my production. I also hadn’t been checking on my pump output and wanted to make sure it hasn’t tank any further, which it hasn’t. There could possibly be a slight increase because even though I usually get 2oz its usually 1oz each. Getting a bit less at times from lefty is normal for me but more than an 1oz is not the norm.
Using my SNS on the 2nd while out and about.
After 2 months of struggling with trying to get my milk supply up, I have come to terms with not being able to exclusively breastfeed. I finally gave in and ordered the Medela SNS. I am using it to save our breastfeeding relationship, not to increase my milk supply but if it does i wont complain.
First day using the SNS. Second time.
So far using the SNS is a bit of a PITA because it leaks and it has to be positioned a specific way. Besides that I love that I can keep her at the breast for full feedings. Instead of doing breast then bottle. This way we are able to avoid flow preference, which she was showing a bit of. Now I see why women say they have a love/hate relationship with their SNS.
I received the Medela SNS, May 17th, and by, May 19th, decided to order the original at breast nursing supplement system. I ordered the Lact-aid because it is much more discreet and reviews stat that it does not leak. I am super excited to receive it and will post about it for sure.