Boob or Nothing

Ok so Mia started using a bottle at around threes weeks old when we started supplementing with some formula. She continued to breastfeed first and then take the bottle for a top up. I started using the lact-aid to supplement at the breast and give up pumping. This was three weeks ago. The pump and the bottle got a nice rest and everything was going smoothe or so I thought. That was until I decided to go to the nail salon (which I hadn’t done in months) and leave Mia and Jayden with my mom at my place. I had no idea how attached this child really was to my boob until I pumped and was getting ready to leave as my mom tried to give her a bottle. The second she tried to latch onto the bottle she starts crying out of control and was inconsolable. I tried to help by doing things like giving my mom a used shirt of mine for smell, having her walk around while feeding her, and even singing.

I was told to go to the nail salon and she would calm her down. I really believed my mom could get a grip of things. I mean how hard is it to feed a baby right? Wrong! The nail salon is literally steps away from my apartment so I went ahead and to my surprise I get a phone call 10 minutes later. She was not having it. She wanted mommy and only mommy would do. So I suggested using a medicine dropper to “syringe feed” her and wadda ya know, it actually worked. Drinking a full 3oz with the dropper.

What a delema I had no idea what I was starting when I decided to use the lact-aid and put away the bottle. No one else feeds her so I didn’t use the bottle but wow! I’m glad she did take the dropper because we have a family outing with our oldest today. I will be hugging the pump every two hours today.

Breastfeeding in Public?…Inappropriate!

I had been waiting all day yesterday for some time to post this. I was watching the Wendy Williams Show yesterday and they put a picture of a young mother breast feeding her baby at her graduation. So three of her guess and herself went on to bashing this girl for being inappropriate and talking about how she should have pumped before she left the house or why she didn’t just hand the baby over to the father for a bottle. They just went on and on about how there being a time and place and how she was taking away from her graduation by breastfeeding her baby. “There is a time and a place” they said!! There is a time and a place to be hungry? Really? Because last I checked we all get hungry whenever we need to eat regardless of where we are. Her baby should not have choose the graduation to get hungry because that is not the time or the place to be hungry.

Walking down the sidewalk eating? Is that the time and the place?

Eating in your car? Is that the time and the place?

Eating in your office for lunch? Is that the tine and the place?

How about outside at a food vendor? Is that the time and the place?

Please do tell me where is this magical time and place to feed our children!

i mean you have to be kidding me. How ignorant does a human being have to be to go as far to practically say breastfeeding. a baby can ruin a graduation? One of the woman said she breastfeed her four children. She should be taking a stand not putting women down. Maybe she felt intimidated. I don’t know but just drives me crazy knowing that women could be catty, petty, and ignorant towards each other. People saying things like that is what makes some moms ashamed to breastfeed in public. That’s why some moms feel the need to cover there babies up or go to the bathroom to breastfeed. I wish those people who judge women for breastfeeding in public would try to eat with a blanket over their head or in a public bathroom for a day.

We were created with breast to feed our babies not to please men. Our breast are the original bottles and pacifiers. That’s why the tip of a bottle and a pacifier is called a nipple. They wouldn’t cover their babies head while feeding their baby in public with a bottle or hide away in the bathroom. So why is it that people are so ignorant about breastfeeding.

 

Its ok…

for a Victoria Secret ad to be seen publicly in a mall and on tv where there are children walking around.

for a celebrity to wear a see through dress and be photographed for the entire world to see and be called a fashion icon

for a women to wear a bikini with her breast hanging out

for women in music videos to shake their stuff almost naked

…but its not acceptable when…

a mom wants, no no, NEEDS to breastfeed their child in a restaurant

a mom needs to soothe her crying baby

a baby is hungry and NEEDS to eat

Oh how dare we feed our babies in PUBLIC!!!?? How dare our child be hungry when we are not home! How dare that lady not take her infant/toddler to that filthy, stinky public bathroom to eat!? Right? How dare she not put a blanket over her baby to cover up while he’s eating? Because we all know how bad eating in public can be.

I mean seriously why are these people who have such a strong opinion about not breastfeeding in public, just not looking away? No one is telling you to stare. If it bothers you that much don’t look.

We are just feeding our children!
 

Simply Obvious

.

So, to start off I got a new phone with windows operating system instead of Android and the WordPress app for windows is a PITA and posting pics is a hassle so I’m going to have to work something out.

Aside from my app problems. I will tell you about the ahh ha moment I had yesterday. It was more of a “duhh” feeling and I don’t understand why I hadn’t realized this earlier. After all, this is not my first. Here we go. So I was reading another blog and it had a infants schedule from naps to feedings and that’s when I thought “wait a minute Mia doesn’t take nearly as many naps as she should”. After reading that I decided to try something new the next day. I started our day yesterday by being very vigilant to her cues. When she woke up after her last full breastfeeding through the night. She had her first supplemented feeding and after her feeding she was fussy and crying. Any other day I would think she was still hungry and try to feed her and she would refuse and I would check her diaper. I don’t know why it just wasn’t clicking. Except this time around I walked her around the apartment and comfort nursed her and she calmed down and fell asleep in no time. Once she had woken up from her nap she was refreshed and after a bit was ready to feed again. We continued this routine all day and at 7 o’clock she had her usual bath, fed and by 8 o’clock was asleep.

 

I can’t believe that I almost gave up on breastfeeding. I genuinely thought our problem was using the lact-aid. Apparently the only way she will nap is by being nursed to sleep.

We both love nursing and I’m glad I figured her out just in time.

<p div

Feeling Defeated

Somedays I feel like I have completely failed my baby. As much as I’ve tried and struggled along the way to breastfeed. I have failed. I feel bipolar at times for feeling so happy that we have a breastfeeding relationship. Then my emotions come crashing down when I start struggling to get the Lact-aid tube positioned just right for her to get milk as she is screaming. Sometimes it works fine and other times we end up crying together.
I’m just not ready to let go of our breastfeeding relationship and even though its not enough I am giving her breast milk and that is good for her. I pray in hopes for some sort of miracle and everydkay I am hopeful and thankful that I can offer some. 
My hubby is always very reassuring that I am not a failure when I cry about god giving us breast for our babies and mine don’t work but I cant overlook the fact that medically women who can not provide 100% of the milk needed by their babies are called lactation failures.
If I were to stop now I would be devastated. My baby nurses to sleep, for comfort, for naps, when we cuddle in bed. I just feel so overwhelmed and bad when I can’t get that tube right in her mouth or sometimes when I am rushing to get the Lact-aid ready for a feeding. Maybe using the Lact-aid would get easier and if I stop now I will never know. I have tons of thoughts running through my head

.

One of the most overwhelming is thinking one day I might have a full supply. Its positive thinking but foolish as well because if in 2 and a half months I haven’t had a full supply I don’t think it will happen. I should be more grateful I know but some days are just though.

No one ever tells you how hard breastfeeding could be.

Breastfeeding Relationship Love

Even though I need to use a Lact-aid to help me breastfeed, we share a bond and a love that is indescribable. If I had to give a couple words… Pure, kind, precious, & beautiful, to say the very least. I wish I could exclusively breastfeed but we had a rough start. Mia loves to nurse and I cherish every moment. Here are some picture of us breastfeeding through our 2 and a half month journey.

Park and Boobs

My precious gifts from god

Yesterday (Memorial Day) we returned from our trip to New Jersey and decided to have a nice little picnic. So we packed up the kids, and I made some sandwiches and we hit the road.
I am much more comfortable nursing in public now even while using the Lact-aid so I feel more free. I also feel like we have more of a real breastfeeding relationship with the Lact-aid compared to the sns.

Watching JJ in the playground

While Mia, daddy, and I sat there chatting eating sandwiches and watching Jayden play, I breastfeed and Mia seemed to be enjoying the breeze along with the site of the trees waving.

Mia and daddy

The hubby got to spend a bit more time with little Ms, Missy. He works very hard so that I can stay home with the kids and times like this are precious to us.

Selfie

At the end of all the fun

Breastfeeding on the Boardwalk

On the Atlantic city peer with my goofy 5 year old Jayden & 9 week old Mia.

OK, so yesterday hubby, the kids and I went to the boardwalk while visiting the in-laws and it was very hot so I refused to cover up while feeding the little one. Besides she was looking around at everything that had never seen before. So, we go about our stroll down the boardwalk in search of somewhere yummy to eat. I received some encouraging looks and smiles, which felt very nice of course. I was using the Lact-aid and I manage to use it very discreetly.  I did get a ignorant reaction from some teen boys which is to be expected but in a perfect world kids would grow up knowing what breast are really meant for. They were shocked and I understand. I am at least glad that was the strangest reaction I got. A lady even interacted with me and told me she is still bf-ing her 1 and a half year old and also did breast and formula which is always very encouraging to hear about moms who combined fed and make it long term.
I hadn’t looked up the bf-ing laws in Jersey before going out breastfeeding in public but I decided to go for it anyway. I figured most states are “Your baby could feed anywhere they are permitted to be”
So far I don’t mind breastfeeding in public. On the contrary, breastfeeding in public should be normalized one breast at a time.

My Lact-aid Nursing Trainer

Making it more visible for the picture

First I want to start off with, WOW this and the Medela sns are like night and day. I offer the Lact-aid hands down.
Anyway, here I am breastfeeding little Mia with the Lact-aid. I have been using it for 3 days today and so far I love it because it doesn’t leak, its not bulky or hard, has one tube, and best of all is discreet. Its been a bit tricky for me to latch her on with the tube in the right place because this one can really go on the side but I am getting the hang of it. Mia doesn’t seem to mind as long as she gets to nurse.

Laying down with Lact-aid tucked under my shirt and no tape

I have yet to try using it in public but I’m sure I will have plenty of time to try because this is a long weekend and next weekend we are going to New York.
I am looking forward to see if it increases my milk supply at all.

The Morning Pump

Lefty is an under achiever

Let me start of by saying to 2oz is the max I have ever pumped and usually only in morning. This is what I pumped today at 8:00am before our morning feed. Why pump before a feeding you may ask? Well I received my Lact-aid yesterday morning and wanted to put my BM into the Lact-aid and further stimulate my production. I also hadn’t been checking on my pump output and wanted to make sure it hasn’t tank any further, which it hasn’t. There could possibly be a slight increase because even though I usually get 2oz its usually 1oz each. Getting a bit less at times from lefty is normal for me but more than an 1oz is not the norm.

Giving pumping a second chance

Pumping hands free with my DIY hands free sports bra for the first time.

Ok, so I had given up pumping about 2 weeks ago because it was really stressing me out. Pumping consistently and always getting 1oz or less, with the exception of morning pumps which I would get about 2oz.
Last night I asked DH to stop in at Walmart and get me a sports bra and he came home with a 2 pack. This morning I cut little holes on the nipple area to get some hands free pumping going. What can I say? Well pumping hands free is much less stressful then joggling the pump with my arm and hands.

I was able to pump almost 2oz (I had comfort nursed Mia about 15 minutes prior) and I usually get 2oz in the am pump. Being hands free allowed me to do compressions and massage for more milk flow.